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Single Brown Male

Single Brown Male is a species of humans found in the Indian Subcontinent. This creature resides across all the length and breadth of the great country of India. The engineering colleges of the country abound with all sorts of specimens of this creature. He comes in varying shapes and sizes – large and small, fat and thin, smart and dumb, black and white(?).

The single brown male carries a lot of burdens on his shoulders. Born into a challenging, cut throat, man eat man or more precisely, dog eat dog surroundings, he is taught to fend for himself from the day he opens his eyes in this world. Fourteen years of rigorous training at a place called school teach him a lot, even though he is yet to get a taste of a slice of real life.

Then comes college. This is a place where this creature gets to move away from his erstwhile comfortable surroundings and get into new, yet another dog eat dog world which is nastier than before. Brimming with unused hormones and uncertainty about himself, he tries to nurture the dreams here. These dreams maybe his own (5% of the species) or someone else’s (parents, relatives and what not, 95% of the species).

At college, the hormones come into play. I am talking about normal members of the species here, not the hyperactive ones found in metros, who in any case, experience too much too soon. These hormones attract him towards the opposite sex. Our dear Single Brown Male is always on a lookout for a Single White Female. That perhaps makes him a pathetic creature on the planet.

Now, his success with them depends on how he channels his hormones. Wasted into trivial pursuits like studies, they let him end up with porn movies, spicy Mastram story books, Savita Bhabhi and the middle of the night, booze induced discussions about the necklines, hemlines and waistlines of girls in the college. This results in usual frustration of not having a girlfriend or lamenting about one’s virginity and how that fellow in some other part of the world is enjoying life by screwing many girls at a time.

Some hypocrites try to hide this behind lame excuses like parent’s trust on them, good character, haven’t found the right girl yet, career first and all that crap though deep within them there is an immense desire to get laid at any cost. In engineering colleges, they constitute 99% of the crowd. They are the ones whose throat runs dry as all the water from their body comes out in form of sweat whenever they encounter a girl. Their usual conversation with a girl goes like this – Guy : “Suno” Girl : “Yes” Guy : “Kuch nahi. Pen dena”. End of conversation. And when back to their dens, its like :”pata hai aj maine us maal se baat ki”.

The remaining 1% are those who have scored. They are the happier lot or rather it seems so. Out of the previous 99%, many are quintessential males who may never have spoken to a girl their entire lives and are OK with it. Their life revolves around usual guy stuff like sports, action movies, gaming etc. This category is the happiest of them all. It has nothing to worry about, no one to look after, no pretensions about itself and no one to pretend to.

All in all, the Single Brown Male is a very interesting creature with a lot of layers covering it. To all the social scientists and psychologists of the world, he offers a plethora of oppurtunities in terms of research and insights in human psyche. More on it later maybe. Short of ideas right now. Adios.


12 Responses

  1. PS: The author is a freelance frustrater

  2. Hi!
    I misunderstood the post initially. If it is the superficiality of the actions, that you portray then I am all in praises for your post.

  3. sasur tum third category me dalna chahte ho khud ko, par saale ho nhi…. 😛

  4. i used to be…. n yes i want to be now…

  5. there sud b a sub on this creature…n u sud b professor…

  6. Very informative one..I think I need some introspection..lol

  7. well i wrote it after a lot of introspection 🙂

  8. sale DAN BRAWN!!!!!

  9. you write for the masses dude…
    a good competitor of dan brown or for desi people chetan bhagat.

  10. this is not with each and every people only our group is like that so we think every guy in engg college is a single brown male.
    actually we dont have guts to speak to the girls.
    you will find 50% of the boys have girl frnds.

  11. abe yaar man gaye yaar …………. u rgenious man………keep it up and plz never leave ur this passion of writing…….we r always with u all the time.

  12. @puneet – thnx yar for takin ur time out n read this.. 🙂

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